Darkness lay about. The hour was late. The family retired to bed, but I couldn’t sleep. The damp air sent chills down my spine. Beside his coffin I sat. From the light peaking from the window pane I could read “yet shall he live” burned into a cross my brothers nailed to the lid. With arms intertwined with a brother’s who returned to the porch, we wept and held each other tight. Tears fell uncontrollably. Stunned. Confused. Broken. We could only cry for grace. Pain pierced my heart like a sword when I thought of how I had longed to see God’s glory through healing. Now His glory I would only behold by understanding why He deemed my father’s death more fitting then extending his life. Wrestling I cried, “Father you said “If thou canst believe thou shalt see the glory of God.” I believed the words You spoke, even when his condition grew worse with every hour, I yet believed.” But now, I sit beside my father’s lifeless temple, when I was certain he would walk and speak again. You cannot lie, Father, in this I am confident. (Num.23:19) But help Thou mine unbelief! (Mrk 9:24) If I still believe, will I yet see Your glory? Will You grant me understanding of Your will? Oh, I know You are good and doeth good, (Ps.119:68) but remind me of who You are!” With my burden cast on the Lord, I found a glimpse of relief and began searching earnestly for words to console my brother. “Send me light and truth!” (Ps.43:3-4) I cried in my heart to the God of all comfort. (2Cor.1:3-4) Turning my eyes from his tear stained shoulder to the sky above, I noticed the star filled heaven. Each shone bright as if trying to tell me something. (Rom.1:19-20) As I gazed at their beauty the Lord brought a simple truth to exhort me. In a broken voice, I quoted to my brother the profound command, “be still and know that I am God.” (Ps. 46:10) A short explanation followed, “we’re confused, sweetie, but it’s not our job to understand. We have to be still, trusting He is God and His way is perfect.” And suddenly as I returned my eyes heavenward, the brightest, most glorious star I had ever seen shot across the open sky! The host of stars looked pale in comparison to it…it was beautiful! Magnificent and breathtaking! We both turned to each other in an excited “did you see what I just saw” expression! We both sat almost stunned by His response to our cry and our tears immediately turned to laughter. Remembering I had only moments before asked Him to remind me of Who He was, and allow His glory to help my unbelief, my heart rejoiced in humble praise! And then, the words of one of my father’s favorite Psalms replayed in my mind. A psalm he quoted to us every time we stepped outside when the sun was down. Every camping trip, bon fire, or simple route from the car to the house in the darkness, in an excited, humble tone, he would look up and say aloud, “The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament showeth His handy work!” (Ps.19:1) With that beautiful reminder, I returned inside with a joyful heart. The heavens, full of stars too many to be numbered, and larger then the earth itself on which we live, all upheld by the word of His power, shouted praise to it’s Creator! “Behold, The Lamb of God which taketh away the sins of the world! (Joh.1:29) Christ, Who reconciled us to God by His blood! (Rom.5:10) Glory to be to Father of mercies and the God of all comfort!” I begged Him to show me His glory anew, and He did. Reminding me that the coffin by which I sat held only a shell, and my best friend was as busy as the stars singing praises to his Maker, Who loved him, and washed him from his sin in His own blood! “The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth them and delivereth them out of all their troubles.” (Ps.34:17)
The LORD is faithful to His word. He is worthy to be trusted.